What will our adoption look like?

I have had lots of questions about what our adoption will look like. Well, there is no exact answer for that, as each situation looks different. But I can give a brief overview of the process and the basic break down of events.

As soon as we get final approval of our updated homestudy (which we hope will be in the next 2 weeks), we will begin the matching process. During this season, we will receive information about birth mothers who are expecting and would like to make an adoption plan for their child. We will read, think, and pray over this information and decide if that birth mother and child would be a good fit for our family. If we say yes to her, then she will be give a profile book of our family. (This is essentially a scrapbook that I have made, that gives her the ins and outs of the Cater family, our goals and dreams as parents, and our day to day life.) She will also be given the profile books of any other hopeful adoptive families who are interested in her. At this point, the decision will be placed in her hands as to which family is the best fit for her child.
This process has no timeline, no rhyme or reason. Just God's divine plan. So you can most certainly be praying for His perfect timing and His wisdom to inform every step.
From then, there is no specific guideline for how things will go. Those are decisions that will be made between the birth mother, ourselves, and our social workers.
Until then and even once the baby is born, there is time for birth mom to change her mind. In this, we know that God knows what is best for the child, and we will have to trust and have confidence in His plans.

So that is a brief and vague explanation of the road we have ahead. There are so many factors, legalities and emotions that will inform and guide this journey. But ultimately, we know the Lord is going to guide our steps and our prayer is that we will be able to remember that and have confidence in that every step of the way.

Thank you for loving us and supporting us. Thanks will never be enough.

Back Again

When I wrote the last post on this blog, I certainly had no idea that my next one would be 2 years later. But as always, the Lord's plans are far better than our own. Now, here we are, 2 years and 1 precious little boy later and we are so ready to re-enter this journey to adoption. We believe that the Lord has called us to adoption and that has only been confirmed over the past year as we have stepped into this new role of parenting. We are anxious to meet the child that He has in store for us. We are currently working to update our homestudy. We have had our home study update and completed all of our paperwork, so now we wait for our final approval to begin matching again. We hope to have this finalized within the next month. We feel an overwhelming peace as we enter into this next phase, knowing that the Lord is already putting into place the steps that will lead us to our baby. What can you do? - Pray for us as we enter into this time of waiting. Pray for patience and wisdom and peace. - Pray for our birthmother, wherever she may be. That she would feel the Lord's presence and that she would feel loved and supported through her journey. - Pray for our child. We still have a little bit of funds to raise, so be on the lookout for ways you can support us in this last bit of reaching our final goal! We love and appreciate each of you and the countless ways you have loved and supported us. We could never say or do enough to express our gratitude.

And now, we wait...

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Christmas was beautiful (warm, but beautiful) and it was so wonderful to be surrounded by friends and family. As we celebrated the New Year, it was with so much hope and anticipation. 2015 was a tough year. Going into 2015, we were so sure that we would get pregnant within the year and ended up facing month after month of disappointment and sadness. But the Lord was faithful, and 2015 also brought the beginning of our adoption journey. We are continually amazed by the ways that the Lord continues to provide and to confirm that this is His plan for us. 2016 may not bring us a child, but we are confident that it does hold the Lord's plans for us, and that they are truly better than anything we could ever imagine.

We completed our homestudy over the last two weeks, along with our profile. It's hard to believe that we are already here! So now, we wait... While the homestudy required a lot from us, it was such a growing process and we have learned so much about ourselves, each other, and our future as parents. For the last 3 months, there has always been something to do or to work on. Being someone who likes to stay busy and always have something to work on, this has been great! So as we go into the matching process, I know that the waiting will be very hard for us. Throughout the matching process, we won't be able to share much about where we are at and what is happening. But rest assured, that when the time comes, we will be ready to show off our child!

We have been so overwhelmed by the love and generosity that has been poured out on us. We have seen the Lord work and speak through so many of you and we are so grateful. Once we are matched, and the baby comes, we will have to have the remainder of the money. Right now, we are still in need of about $8,000. We have some fundraising events in the works and will share details soon.

So what you can you be praying for? Pray for our child. Wherever he or she may be. For health, for safety, and for the steps that will bring them to us. Pray for the birthmother. Pray for her health, safety, and that she would know the Lord and His love for her. Pray for us as we wait. Pray for us to be filled with peace and patience, and for the Lord to continue to prepare us to be parents. Pray over these profile books. For the women who see them, and the decisions they are making.

We want to thank you. Thanks for taking the time to read this blog. Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for your financial gifts. We are blessed. 

Update!

Happy Holidays everyone! We hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with friends and family. We had the chance to visit one of my dearest friends in New York for Thanksgiving and go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (which has been a major bucket list item for me). It was really magical and the most incredible way to start this Christmas season. 

For the last two years, the holidays have been difficult for us. Longing for a child in our home to share this special season with, seeing the endless pictures of families and children enjoying Christmas morning, and even being surrounded by our incredible families and spending precious time with them and wanting our children to share in those memories. Over the last few days, as we have been decorating our home and planning our holiday events, I have been surprised. Those feelings of longing and sadness, have been replaced with joy, hope, and eager anticipation. The last few months, we have been overwhelmed with so much love and support and we are more confident than ever that the Lord has a plan for our family. We thank God for restoring our hearts and filling us with joy. We thank Him for the ways that He has provided and for the people He has placed in our lives that have poured out so much love and encouragement over us.

So here is an update on the adoption:

Fundraising is going amazingly well! The garage sale our mothers organized was a major success and we were able to raise over $1300 from sales alone, and received a number of other very generous donations that day. Our t-shirt sales were also super successful. We were able to pre-sale 150 t-shirts! This not only will be a huge financial help, but will also be a great way to spread the word about our adoption and the Lord's faithfulness. We are almost at 50% of our fundraising goal!!!

Also, super exciting news, our home study will be complete in just TWO WEEKS! We have been working really hard and the process has gone so smoothly. This means that just after Christmas, we will begin the matching process. Let me explain the matching process briefly... Once we are approved, we will begin receiving birth mother profiles. This is a summary of information about a birth mother, her situation, her history, and her expectations for the adoption. We will pray over this profile and discuss whether or not we feel this birth mother will be a good match for us. If we say yes, our profile (a book all about us) will be taken to her, along with the profiles of any other families who would like her to be shown their profile. If she chooses us, then we will be matched. From their, we will follow her through the remainder of her pregnancy, until the baby comes. This all looks very different for every family and birth mother, so there is no real way of knowing how long it will be or the timeline of how things will happen.

So what can you be doing now? PRAY. Pray for us as we finish the home study process and make some big decisions. Pray for our hearts to continually be filled with joy and patience as we wait upon the Lord. Pray for the birth mother, as she makes huge decisions for herself and her child. Pray for her health and salvation. Pray for that sweet baby that will one day be ours. You can also continue to spread the word about our adoption and consider donating financially. We are so thankful for each and every one of you and for the countless ways that you have been a part of this journey with us. 

GARAGE SALE THIS WEEKEND!

The weekend weather looks to be much better, so come out and see us and buy some great items!

Burp Cloth Fundraiser

My very talented mother, Denise Boyd, is selling handmade (cotton/flannel), monogrammed burp cloths, to raise money for our adoption. They are perfect for a baby shower or Christmas gift!

 

All prices include monogram.

1 for $8.00

2 for $15.00

4 for $28.00

 

These are a few of the on-hand selections, customizing available.

To order, contact Denise Boyd at boydbiker@aol.com

or Laura Cater at bringinghomebabycater@gmail.com

The Why

The past week has been full of love, encouragement, support, and excitement as friends, family, and even some strangers have realized we are adopting and reached out to us. However, a surprising few have actually asked us "Why?"

The answer to this question is really two-fold. Laura and I started dating in November of 2010. Two weeks into our relationship, Laura casually mentioned that, whenever the time came, she wanted to adopt. I was a little surprised, to say the least. But, it revealed so much of her heart to me right from the beginning. We knew that adoption would be a major part of our lives one day.

A few years, a move back home, a marriage, and two new jobs later, we had decided we wanted to start trying to have children. So many of our close friends and family were welcoming new little ones and we wanted in on the fun! However, several months into trying, we weren't getting pregnant. We went to Alabama Fertility Specialists to see what could be done. The year or so that followed was riddled with new medications, treatment plans, crossed fingers, thousands in medical bills, and disappointments. Nothing was working. It took a toll on us both, but Laura especially. Each time we got a negative result, we were plunged into a downward spiral of negativity, doubt, sadness, and grief. There were many tears.

Then, over saki and sushi at Surin this past August, we decided we'd had enough. We've wanted to adopt from the beginning, why not just do it now? God has a funny way of getting what He wants. And so here we are. We have lots of work ahead of us, but we have full confidence in God's plan and His timing. Thanks for partnering with us in this journey. Check here often for updates. Leave a comment, stay in touch. It means so much to us to know that you have our back and are pulling for us. We appreciate you.  - Dan